They're living up to the challenge
By A.J. BLAUER, Ottawa Sun
May 29, 2004
Do you remember your first taste of independence? Maybe it was that summer you spent backpacking through Europe. Or that year spent slumming with friends in a downtown sublet.
Making it on your own is an exciting and anxious time.
Some of life's most valuable lessons are experienced when the strings of
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It's a veritable rite of passage, and yet it's neither a right nor a privilege enjoyed by many people with intellectual disabilities. For those for whom dependence has been ingrained since childhood -- opportunities to leave the nest are few and far between.
But where there's a will, a few brave souls will find a way.
On the campus of Carleton University, in the tranquil Leeds residence building, a group of young men and women with a wide range of intellectual disabilities are facing the challenge of their lives: Making it on their own.
They call the project "On Our Own Together II," and it's got all the makings of a reality television series: Seven men, seven women, one university dormitory, 50 days, and, like, a million responsibilities -- plus laundry!
"When I first got here, I didn't know what to expect."
That's Rachel Wexler. Rachel, like a lot of the participants in this second housing initiative by non-profit organization LiveWorkPlay, is bright, well-spoken and good natured.
The challenge for Rachel and her companions is to acquire life skills and take responsibility for everything that comes with independent living: Waking up, bathing, preparing meals, using public transit, getting to work, running errands, budgeting, sharing household chores, building social and support network and resolving conflicts along the way.
"It's not easy," she acknowledges, "but I've got to learn because I'm not going to live in my house forever."
With nearly 30 days under their belts, the participants are starting to demonstrate expertise in certain areas, be it managing OC Transpo routes and schedules, navigating the grocery store aisles, cooking meals, co-ordinating social activities, and of course, doing laundry. Individually, they may not excel at everything, but collectively they can -- and then some.
The first big test came at 10 p.m. on Day 4, when a residence-wide fire alarm shattered the evening peace.
"I was on the phone and I jumped," recalls resident Ryan Mcbride.
The alarm was a frightening jolt, but the evacuation went smoothly, with residents making sure their roommates got out safely. In their haste, a few residents rushed outside in their bare feet while others had the remarkable foresight to bring along extra socks. That's how it works sometimes.
What turned out to be a false alarm precipitated an impromptu party with pictures taken with the firefighters and a glowing sense of accomplishment among the group members.
BUILDING CONFIDENCE
"What I liked most is that everyone got out safe and at the right time," Ryan says.
Most days though, it's the little things that make for the greatest challenges. Like balancing work, chores and recreation. Or building up the confidence to express personal interests and feelings, as well as approaching others to resolve small concerns before they become big problems.
In sharing her biggest frustration with me, resident Moira Fuenzalida discovered that the guys who spend most of their free time watching sports and playing video games would gladly do arts and crafts with her, if only she would ask.
"I like to draw," proclaimed John Cholmondely, a strapping Trinidadian fellow whose love of hockey is as peculiar as the way he pronounces "Daniel Alfredsson."
With no imposed structure, routine or live-in support, the housing project demands tremendous initiative and organizational skills of its participants.
"If you've never had to make a choice and it's suddenly up to you, it is scary," says Keenan Wellar, one of the project coordinators who checks up on the residents. "It's very hard because it can reduce people to tears."
After 25 years in her parents' loving home, Laura Stewart is making the sometimes difficult transition to independence.
She has decorated her dorm room with pictures of family and cherished pets, but she's also making new friends and learning to live with people more extroverted than herself.
She misses home dearly, but is quietly excited about something she calls "The Diagram" -- a blueprint for a 16-unit bungalow that could permanently house every member of the program in a self-sustaining co-operative.
The "dream," as everyone here calls it, is to construct the house by 2006, building on the ideas and experiences of the "On Our Own Together" participants to make it work.
Laura is not entirely sold on the idea of leaving home for good, but she confides that the "dream" is very exciting.
"Yes," she gushes. "Yes it is!"
On Our Own Together II is holding an open house on June 17. For more information, to view the zany chronicles of the residents, or to sign their guestbook, go to: www.liveworkplay.ca/OOOT2